What’s the number one issue in my counselling room?
Did you guess that it was…… relationships? Is that the issue that you struggle with too? Relationships is the issue that people bring into my counselling room day in, day out. And I can hear you asking the question…How come? And it’s a really good question!
Years back, not quite in the stone age, people lived in close knit communities. There were no cars, no phones, no TV’s, no PC’s. Life was simpler, more clearly defined and expectations were lower. Everyone knew their place, what they could expect from life, what work they would do and even who they would marry. If you were a boy, you would probably follow your father into his trade or profession. If you were a girl you would get married, have babies and become a housewife. The world was small and you might never venture outside your own community. If you had a problem you kept it to yourself or spoke to your grandparent, priest, vicar or rabbi.
Fast forward to 2007. The world is a global village and everyone has the possibility of realising their dreams. People go halfway across the world for the weekend. Brits go on holiday to Aus and meet their partners. South Africans come to live in the UK and fall in love with Brits. Etc, etc. And then cultural differences and problems can start to kick in.
And have we lost the art of communicating? In the ‘good old days’ people used to chat across their garden fences and look into their neighbours’ eyes. Today we don’t even speak on the phone, we don’t want to waste people’s time, we send a text or email instead. We go to work shutting out the world with our Ipods in our ears and our Blackberries in our hands.
Sounds great? Yes, to a point. But many of us now find that we have difficulty communicating. We know how to write a good text but having a chat is not so easy, either on the phone or in person.
And some of us have also lost the ability to RELATE.
How come I hate my boss?
Why don’t my parents understand me?
Why I am still on my own?
Why is it my partner just doesn’t get me?
How come he can’t see it my way?
Why does she nag me all the time?
Why do we fight all the time?
Why don’t we have sex any more?
Why don’t we have fun any more?
Why are relationships such hard work?
Maybe I’d be happier with someone else?
It wasn’t meant to be like this 
Sounds familiar?
That’s where I come in…